1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize