question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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