I wish I could punch you in the face.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
