people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize