Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
