how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
