Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
did you just send me my own nude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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