Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize