my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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