Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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