I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
