didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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