I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
