Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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