I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
