So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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