Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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