they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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