You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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