try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
