Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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