oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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