you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
