It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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