I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
