I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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