Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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