I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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