She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
