Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
