He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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