We're facebook friends in real life
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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