fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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