I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
