Whod you bang
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
