There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
