Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
