I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
