38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
