Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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