We're facebook friends in real life
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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