And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
