it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
