Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
