It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
