If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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