he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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