i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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