Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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