I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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