as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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