Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
