I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
