He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize