physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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