Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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