i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Alive.
So much puke
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
