PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
