I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize