I think i peed on brittanys purse
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
