handjob tips. give me some.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
